Acceptance, Book Writing, Forgiveness, Healing, Oneness, Self-love

Three reasons why forgiveness helps us to heal (Does this resonate?)

Business AssistanceMany people have asked me why I have chosen for my second book to write about forgiveness?  In my first book ‘Coming Home to You’, I focused on the many ways we can live a joyful and happy life, by reclaiming our relationship with ourselves. Once we balance our relationship with our body, our mind and our spirit, we find that we have harmony with all of life and the happiness and peace that comes from this will naturally flow to us. Yet, as I speak to many people through my work and travels, I find that many live in a stuck-ness that is not borne from their inner world, but from their outer one.
We find ourselves dwelling on past sleights, hurts, transgressions and bodily assaults that have left us feeling weak and vulnerable. In a world that feels scary and hostile most of the time, the one thing we most want to avoid is feeling vulnerable, so we become hard, close our heart and vent our anger at the source of the cause of our anguish. In many ways this is a natural reflex built into us, that we may not even realise is there until it has come out through our words or deeds.
So if it is one of our most natural human responses, why should we think about changing it? What we create from these natural human responses is a spiral of decline in our relationship with others which leads to the madness that we see in the world around us. Our lack of forgiveness is part of the destructive cycle that we see in our age. It leads to conflict, war, aggression, hate and deep unhappiness in our hearts. Yet it is possible to transcend these responses, to find a different path, one that is no less easy, but leads to a place of healing, understanding and ultimately to peace. Forgiveness is not an easy concept to live by, but as we see in our daily lives and in our media every day, living in a world without forgiveness is not easy either. In fact, we can see that living without forgiveness can only ever lead us to destruction.

Three reasons why we need to work on our forgiveness:

  1. We become more humane, gentler and kinder, when we can learn to be tolerant and accepting of the differences of those around us. This is true in our personal relationships, but also in our work as well. Rather than living a life that is constantly fueled by irritation and annoyance, that can spill into anger, we can be calm and learn to see the differences in others as a way of learning more deeply about ourselves.
  2. We can appreciate that we have no real control of the world around us. When we live from our ego state, we are only concerned with control. We want to know that our plans will go exactly as we have laid them out, we want people to behave they way we expect them to and we want the world to comply with our own view of how it should be. Living from this ego state is a sure path towards madness. We are warring as much with ourselves as everyone around us in our wish to find the illusion of control. Once we let go of this illusion we can learn to be free and accept and respond more appropriately to what is happening around us.
  3. We take full responsibility for our emotions and only our emotions. What happens if we are hurt of have suffered transgressions from others, is that we start to not only trap the trauma in our body, allowing it to fester and grow, but we also start to project emotions we want the other person to feel.  We want them to know our pain, to know suffering and feel the same indignation that we felt at their hand. This is a false path, that will only prolong our own suffering. We have no control over anyone else’s emotions and spending time trying to come up with ways to influence them is taking precious time from our own life when we could be coming to terms with our own needs and learn to move on. We are continuing an emotional entanglement with someone that continues to erode our sense of who we are. At some point you have to ask; is it worth it? Is my peace of mind less important that my projections towards another.  Our path to healing starts with attending to our own emotional needs, healing our own wounds and forgiving ourselves first. Anything else binds us to our suffering.

 

Would you be willing to share your experiences of forgiveness?  Throughout August, I’ll be launching a survey to gather views on how forgiveness is experienced as part of my research for my book.  If you have the time and are willing to share, please click HERE.

 

 

 

Book Writing, Change, Featured, Happiness, Personal Transformation, Resilience

Radio Interview with TippFM

TIPP FM logoToday I was invited onto the Fran Curry show at TippFM, a local radio station in Tipperary, Ireland.

Our conversation covers many things including the process of coming out to my parents thirty years ago, how to turn our troubles into tribulations and how to manage the nagging voice in our head.

I hope you enjoy it.

 

Book Writing, Change, Coming Home to You, Featured, Personal Transformation

Coming Home to You featured in Irish Press

Mary in tree 3 (3)More books are sold between September and December, than at other time of the year. Precisely because of this, I have started the publicity campaign for Coming Home to You.  I’ll feature press clippings and radio interviews here over the next few weeks.

 

Today the Irish Press interviewed me for a feature article on how Coming Home to You can transform lives.  Read more HERE

 

I hope you enjoy it.  More to follow.

Book Launch, Book Writing, Coming Home to You

Coming Home to You – Launch Events Announced

Book Launcher - flyer look

I’ve been talking about nothing else for the last few months and finally I can reveal details of my book launch events.

 

 

 

 

 

Global Book Launch – End June 2017

You are invited to the Launch Parties at:

  • Dublin: Wednesday 28th June at Kerala Kitchen, Baggot St., Dublin 4.  6pm – 7.30pm
  • London: Thursday 29th June at The British Library, Kings Cross, London. 6pm – 7.30pm  RESCHEDULED  Look out for an exciting new event to be announced late summer for London to coincide with the launch of the Workbook to compliment the Handbook!

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Book Launch, Book Writing, Coming Home to You, Healing, Personal Transformation, The Joyful Press, Uncategorized

What motivated me to write a book – the birthing of Coming Home to You

It is often said that there is a book in all of us and I am sure that I am no more unique than you in this case.  Coming Home to You: A Handbook for Personal Transformation is not my first book, but it is the first one that will get published, under my own company: The Joyful Press.

There are many reasons why people write a book, but for me it was my desire to share my own healing journey with others, so that they may feel encouraged along their own.

The book deals with major life themes such as:

  • Dealing with Change – and learning to appreciate that change is all around us.
  • Taming the Inner Critic – realising that the constant negative voice in your head is not you and how to tame it.
  • The power of intent – and how to use this to achieve your goals
  • The nature of consciousness – that we can access and use to connect to our own happiness
  • Finding meaningful work – and learning how to put your best foot forward and deal with conflict constructively.

The writing of it was extremely cathartic, as the telling of each theme came with an insight into my own life and my struggles.  It was only when I could see beyond my struggles and realise that there was a deeper more important truth to all of life, that I could access the energy to turn my life turned around.

Healing and harmony are as much about state of mind as they are about our lifestyle choices.  Through my own healing journey, from a meltdown of my immune system in 2008, to the vibrant healthy person I am now, I had to learn how to connect with my inner life and with the energy which is the life force inside of me.  Experiencing this first hand convinced me that many people would want to be able to do the same, and so the motivation for my book was born.

I have made sure that it is practical, as I am a pragmatic person and if I cannot put something into action, how can I expect anyone else to? So I have included practical exercises at the end of each chapter.

I’ll be adding meditations, quizzes and short video insights to this website www.findyourjoyfullife.com in the coming weeks, to share with you.  I’m also collaborating with my good friend Vikki Roberts to bring you some wonderful mindful poems that will help you achieve a calm and wistful state.

I will be sharing details of the book launch parties very soon so watch this space!

Next blog:  The main themes for your transformation journey

Book Launch, Book Writing, Coming Home to You, Personal Development, Survey Result

How Coming Home to You came Home to Me – The Book Journey

As many of you know I completed my first book ‘Coming Home to You’ earlier this year.  It has been quite a journey so far and I continue to be learning more all the time.

I thought at the end of the writing of the manuscript that I was already 50% there, but the reality it that it is probably only 30% of the effort.  What more could be involved I here you say?  Well, apparently, lots!

The editing of the manuscript takes time and with a professional editor, a group of beta-readers and a final proof read that takes quite a few weeks to complete.

I have also decided to produce an audio book as well and have been busy in a recording studio reading my manuscript.  It’s a good job I’m not in the least self-conscious, because there is very little that the sound engineer does not know about my life by now – given as so much of my own story is weaved into the book.

Then there is all of the design associated with the paper and e-book versions.  It is not until you have to design a book cover and internal layout yourself that you realise how much thought goes into book design.  It’s a minefield!  I decided to get the designs down to four versions and then ask for help choosing the final one.

I was overwhelmed by the feedback with 178 responses and this was the result.

book cover results

 

In the end I took the comments and suggestions and decided to go with the white cover with some adjustments.  Here is the final design:

Front cover design

 

Even with the book cover design agreed, I still have other milestones now to achieve and this includes the internal design and the spine and back cover.  I will never give another book a casual glance without thinking of how it was designed and why.

My thoughts now move to building this website, sharing my story and building rich and useful content here to help you find the joyful life that you wish to live.

I also plan a number of book launch parties.  London and Dublin are certain and New York is also in my sights but may prove more challenging.  I will be letting you know how the plans are going and sharing the details of the launch parties once I have these settled.  They promise to be fun and enjoyable evenings.

Thank you all once again for your support, your generosity of time and for all the great suggestions which I think will help to make this website and the rest of my book journey a truly great adventure, thank you.

 Next blog:  What motivated me to write the book.