Emotions, Essential Self, Habits, Journalling, Radio interview

Simple habits make a big difference – Radio Interview with Phoenix FM

karinridgersI recently has the pleasure of joining Karin Ridgers on Phoenix FM for an interview on how to live a happier and more harmonious life.

During our conversation I talk about the three principles that underpin all of my writing:

  • Understanding our energetic nature (our soul) helps to understand the ever changing nature of our lives
  • Separating our sense of self from our thoughts- which are mostly random and at best distracting.
  • beings first (souls) and physical beings second
  • How we can transform our lives by observing our thoughts and emotions and making conscious decisions on how to change them.

There are also some simple tips such as:

  • How to make your day a great one by investing 5 minutes in a morning to set your intention.
  • The value of journalling to help to understand our deeper intentions and make positive changes in our lives.

 

Listen to the full interview below.

Acceptance, Change, Emotions, Grounding, Habits

How to choose and anchor your emotional state

Emotional resilience is not something we are all born with, but it is something we can develop with some simple habits and techniques.

Have you ever had a day when you have woken up feeling happy and vibrant only to find that it disappears after a few moments in the office? Or perhaps after a few moments talking to your mother on the phone?  Our emotions can feel like changeable things that are at the behest of others and our situation. But that is only a story we tell ourselves.  We often believe that our emotions are something that we have very little control over, yet when we consciously choose to be calm, happy and peaceful, we find that this will remain the case for as long as we make that our choice.

 

In this short video, I demonstrate a simple technique to enable you to anchor your emotional state.  It’s very quick and easy and allows you to have an immediate and quick way of reconnecting to your chosen emotional state, rather having one imposed on you by circumstances.

Give it a go and see what you think.

 

Acceptance, Coming Home to You, Emotions, Featured, Happiness, Healing, Personal Power, Self-love, Uncategorized

Make peace with your body

Humans are the only mammals on the planet that have a negative image of their body.  Nothing else quite demonstrates the madness of our human condition, quite as much as the way that we reject, abuse or ignore our bodily needs.

Think about it for a moment.  An orangutan does not sit and brood at her companions and clan and feel disgruntled that her body is not as lithe or shapely as that of others around her.  A leopard does not sit and mope that his spots are not quite as well spread out as other males in the group.  In fact the idea is quite laughable.  Yet, when we turn the lens our ourselves, we seem to find it perfectly acceptable to compare, contrast and condemn our own body, based on some external notion of what it should be.

If we become disconnected and start looking at our body in negative or fragmented ways, it leads to many difficulties. We start to see our body with a critical eye to its external appearance and how this compares unfavourably to other people. Women in particular are prone to this dissatisfaction with their body due to this external pressure to conform to unrealistic expectations.  Bombarded as we are, by images of thin and under-developed models. When we start to over-identify with these images we become unhappy with ourselves and start to put our body through harsh regimes to try to achieve standards it was never designed to meet.  The thoughts we send to our body are equally negative and punitive; ‘You’re fat’, ‘You’re thin’, You’re ugly’, ‘You’re too tall’, ‘You’re too short’ or perhaps the most defeating of all, ‘You’re not good enough.’  Since our thoughts create our reality, we are allowing ourselves in these moments to create a battlefield between us and our bodies.

blog body image
Photo credit: Archishadownlight.com

When we separate our thoughts from our body, we stop listening to its needs.  We start to develop body dysmorphia because we are literally unable to see our body the way it is.  When someone has become extreme in their eating habits, through too much eating, or starving themselves, they have stopped connecting to their body.  The mind and the body are working in two different spheres.

Making peace with our body starts with learning to connect and communicate with it.  Read more here

Change, Emotions, Featured, Gratitude, Happiness, Meaningful Work, Personal Transformation

Finding happiness at work

happiness

Our jobs are such a big part of our life and when we are not happy at work, it can colour every aspect of our lives. Work defines a large part of our life, precisely because we spend so much of our time there. Yet, when we look around, we find many people are very dissatisfied with their work; feeling trapped and unable to see beyond their current circumstances.
Happiness and Work are rarely used in the same sentence. In fact, our level of dissatisfaction with work is widespread. According to the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD) over 25% of us are unhappy at work. One in four of the working population really wish they were somewhere else.
We can however turn what appears to be a negative into a positive. We can learn to enjoy work, leave the pressure of it at the office and then come home ready to fully engage in family life.
To do this, we need to embrace the habit of happiness. Far from being an emotion that is dependent on our external circumstances, happiness is a choice, a state of mind and an inner practice. True happiness always comes from ourselves, rather than from our environment. We have the power and the ability to bring happiness into our life not only every day, but in every moment, through the simple practice of welcoming it in.
My own journey to happiness was a long and arduous one. I grew up in a very unhappy household, became a rebellious teenager, leaving school without any qualifications and started to drink heavily. In my younger days, I associated happiness with external circumstances, such as being out with my friends, having money to buy things I thought I wanted or being praised by others for my actions or abilities. The difficulty with this kind of conditional happiness is that it is completely out of our control; we have no real say in when or how it happens. When we observe the animal or natural world in its natural surroundings, we do not see the same need for approval from its own kind. A tree strives to be the best version of itself it can be; it does not look at the other trees and make comparisons that turn into a negative self-image. The same is also true in the animal kingdom.

 

Making a choice about happiness
For happiness to be part of our lives, we must first make a choice about it. Do we for example, want to be happy? How would we recognise our own happiness? What in ourselves helps to maintain this happiness? By looking more deeply within for the source and opportunities for happiness we start to reverse perhaps a lifelong trend of looking outwards for its source.
Once we have gained some insights into our inner source of happiness we can then look to how we can change our habits and behaviours to make room for happiness in our life. If we know that we enjoy sports, getting creative or have a passion for writing, we can start to set some time aside to follow these passions.

Finding Happiness at Work
One of the traps many people fall into about their work and their satisfaction with it, is to assign conditions which, when met will bring them happiness. They say; “If only: my boss/colleagues would leave; I’d get promoted; I could have a pay rise…” In the long run however, these conditions fail to satisfy. They are transitory victories, which are swept aside as soon as a new cause for unhappiness settles in. Happiness, real happiness, has little to do with external factors. It is an inner space and place, which has a constant smile and self-assuredness. Once we arrive at this place, which requires no external conditions, we can find happiness in the most unlikely workplaces.
Our life purpose will be found somewhere in the simple act of giving and contributing. What we give will depend on our talents and gifts, but all of us have something to offer. Work is one of the places outside of the family where we can share our gift. If we arrive at our work happy, kind, considerate and compassionate, we make our day and everyone else’s enjoyable; we contribute. We don’t look around and feel resentful if someone else has a more favourable relationship with the boss, or compare our salaries, or workloads. We simply smile and look at how we can do the best job possible or how we can help our colleagues with their work.
Look at ways you can bring your talents into your work life. If your talent is numbers, offer to support the accounts department, or perhaps build up meaningful reports on performance and data, which will help your team to work better. If it’s music, but your day job is in elsewhere, perhaps start a community choir, which can raise money for good causes and give other colleagues an outlet for their creative talents.

Start your happiness habit today

Some simple practices that will welcome happiness into your life include:

  • Smile. This one simple act has an immediate effect on our own sense of well-being and a positive impact on our relationships. Practice your smile today and make it a regular habit throughout your day.
  • Start a gratitude Journal. On a daily basis, write down all the things that you are grateful for in your life. Your health, your family, your work, having money to pay bills, your food. The list is endless. Taking time to acknowledge all the things that make your life better is a great shortcut to happiness.
  • Get close to nature. Our natural world is one of the best antidotes for depression or unhappiness. Use your lunchtimes to walk in a park, or at weekends take a walk in a forest, near a lake or by the sea if its close by. When we spend time with nature, we can put our life and our worries into perspective when we look at the greater majesty of life which abounds all around us.

Mary McGuire holds an MBA and MSc in Human Resources. Her early career as a social worker, led on to becoming a Chief Executive of a charity for people with Autism. For the last 20 years she has worked as an international business consultant, working with companies and leaders all over the world. More recently she has trained in Energy and Shamanic healing at Omega Institute in New York, and offers Healing clinics in Donegal, as well as international coaching and speaking engagements. Her first book ‘Coming Home to You’ is available on www.findyourjoyfullife.com and on Amazon. Email Mary@findyourjoyfullife.com

 

Change, Coming Home to You, Emotions, Featured, Personal Transformation

Control your emotions, Control your life

emoballsOur emotions have a huge impact on the quality of our life.  When we feel good, life feels good.  When we are sad or depressed, life can feel like a prison.  Learning to control our emotions is one of the most effective ways to find happiness, not because we force ourselves to be positive, but because we are no longer enslaved by the whims of our emotions.

You have the power to change your world by changing how you view, interpret and act on your emotions.  The first step is to make your emotions your friend rather than your enemy.  Emotions simply exist, like the sky and the moon exist. Emotions are not good or bad.  They allow us to key in to something deeper, which is going on, in ourselves and in the world around us.  They are our signposts to taking a deeper note of what is happening and what we can learn from it.

Anger can be a great force for overcoming injustices if we use it wisely.  Fear can help us to understand what we are suppressing or denying in ourselves and act as a signpost for our personal growth. Grief can allow us to reflect and understand when something important has passed away and what it meant to us.  Love brings connection and meaning into our life.  All emotions will change in time and when we learn to notice them as they arise, look within ourselves to what they mean or point to in us, we are able to act with clear and positive intent.

Our emotions are the energetic markers, which define our experiences.  They give us visceral feedback of a point in time.  These emotions can be positive or negative, but none of them are designed to hang around and become blocked in our body or our psyche.  They are temporal flashpoints to help anchor our experience.  The best way to transcend our emotions is to learn to observe them and create distance between them and our essential self.

“Once we make the break between who we are and the emotion we feel, we become free.  Our psyche and energy becomes peaceful and we start to see something amazing happen.  We feel joy and happiness rise within us.“

Learning to separate our emotion from ourselves is one of the first steps in transforming our emotional health.  When we first start to observe our emotions, it can feel quite alien and the insights might only stay for a short while and arise some time after the emotion has been expressed.  Over time, these moments of insight and observation can become longer and occur while the emotion is being expressed, allowing us to interact with it more directly and change its impact and direction mid-flow.

Becoming the objective observer of our emotions as they arise allows us to bring perspective and more importantly gives us choice; on whether we wish to identify with this emotion, or release it and maintain our sense of perspective.

A simple thing you can do is to start questioning the nature of the emotions you are feeling.  For example, when you find yourself calming down from an emotional outburst, look at the nature of the emotion you have expressed and where you felt it in your body.  Ask yourself if the emotion was really to do with the situation, which triggered it, or whether it was linked to something deeper which has not yet been expressed.

 

Make it Happen!

Keep a journal, noting down your emotional experiences.  Write down what was happening and how you responded.  Write down the nature of the emotion. Give it a colour and a shape.  Observe where you felt the emotion in your body and if there were any physical changes you noticed.

 

This is an extract from ‘Coming Home to You – A Handbook for Personal Transformation’.  Available as paperback and e-book.  You can buy at all main online sellers and by order from bookshops.  Click the buttons below to order your copy:

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