Acceptance, Life Enahancing, Oneness, Personal Development, Reflection, Self-love, Soul Purpose, Stillness

The healing in our silence

20190915_123810I’ve been very quiet of late on my blog and on social media and it’s an affect of losing my mother a few months ago when she passed away peacefully in hospital.  She was 88 years old and she was ready to leave this world, so there was little trauma attached to letting her go.  I felt privileged to have been there with her in her final moments.

Although I felt sadness and the wave of grief that is known to me through other losses, I also felt a calm equilibrium underneath it. I had this overwhelming urge to go inward.  As a naturally outgoing and expressive individual, I saw all of my communicating tendencies left me.  I stopped my daily journalling, stopped engaging on social media and stopped maintaining this blog, which is such an important part of my life.

Part of the reason was workload, as I have had a particularly busy few months with my current client, but I knew that was not the whole reason.  I just needed to go deeper into myself to see what this change signified for me.

Last weekend, whilst in America, I went to the Silent Stay Retreat Centre in the hills of California about an hour from San Francisco.  Bruce Davis, the founder of the centre, led twice daily meditations that encouraged us to find our heart within our heart; a deep reflection into the centre of ourselves. It struck me how the silent retreat reflected the silence in my own grief. I realised what a positive and nurturing gift I was giving to myself, in allowing myself to go inwards and nurture my heart.  As a result of this time of deep reflection, I feel that I am emerging stronger, clearer and kinder.  I have realised that resisting the urge to always be communicating and explaining oneself is a healthy and natural thing to do.  Taking time away from the clamour of the world allows us to understand our own needs and wants, and through that to respond more effectively to the needs of others.

So if you feel the need for deeper reflection and more silence in your life, see what ways you can create that space and ritual.  Perhaps getting up earlier in the morning and taking a half hour or an hour to observe  yourself whilst you sit, meditate or simply allow yourself to go quiet both inward and outward.

If you are finding your urge to communicate through social media is reducing, follow your instinct and take some time away to simply be, without the need to explain yourself or get involved with the events of people around you.

Finally, use the urge to be silent to observe your thoughts more clearly.  Notice how random and unhelpful they can be at times and simply let them pass without further word or energy going into them.  Allow your inner silence to guide your day rather than the chatter of the restless mind.

Career, Change, Personal Transformation, Soul Purpose

Are these career myths holding you back?

frustrationOne of the many things that I am asked to cover in my well-being and stress management workshops, is how people can learn to stress less and enjoy life more.
There are many ways that this can happen and I focus a lot on mindfulness as one of the most effective ways to reduce stress. Yet this will only take you so far, if you are in the wrong job, or the wrong career or some deep down wish to be doing something that differs greatly from your current reality.
If yes, then you are not alone. Being desperately unhappy at work is at epidemic proportions, with one in two of us feeling undervalued and underpaid.
But it doesn’t have to be like that. Once you were full of ideas of how you could change the world. loved Monday mornings and got a buzz out of what you did. So what happened?
When I started working, my poorly educated, low-income parents had little expectations of what I could achieve. They wanted me to get a job, any job. Before too long I was job hopping from one poorly paid position to the next. In 10 years I had got three degrees, had held directorships in different companies and now work as an international transformation consultant, working with global companies.
I learnt how to transform my career, by making the same mistakes that everyone else makes, by learning how to turn them around to my advantage.  You see I realised that many of us are holding on to a myth about our career and what it is possible to achieve.

The top three  myths that might hold you back are:
Myth #1- Believing your sum total is defined by what my current employer pays you. So many of us believe what we get in terms of our current role is what we are worth. Well, here’s the thing. If you bring a unique antique to a car boot sale, you will only get the bargain hunter hawkers making a ridiculously low offer for your priceless piece. It’s the same with our career, unless we take our uniqueness to the right place where it is a good match, we are unlikely to find someone recognises our worth.
Myth #2 – The economy is not good out there, I have to take what I can get. The difficulty with this thinking is two-fold. The first is that the economy can never improve if we stop believing it can be better. The second is that unless we find some greater creativity, innovation and personal power to bring to our work, the economy can never get better. Your unique skills are part of the solution, not the problem, so don’t allow the economy’s current health
Myth #3 – There’s nothing special about me. There’s lots more people out there who are better qualified or experienced than I am. There may be lots of people out there, but none of them bring your uniqueness. We shy away from seeing ourselves as unique in our modern world, yet it is the only thing we can rely on for sure. That our voice, our view of the world, our experiences are unique to each and everyone of us. Employers, particularly good employers don’t want a collection of skills and experiences. They are looking for someone who can fit their culture, can bring ideas, and great team dynamics. They want someone who cares about what the company is trying to do and will go the extra mile to help them achieve it. Years of experience won’t guarantee that, but your passion, drive and enthusiasm will. So let your unique voice shine through.

So as you review your current position and how well this serves you, check in with your own beliefs and mindset. How does these three myths speak to you? Do you have roadblocks that are stopping you from finding the career you love?

If you would like to book a free career breakthrough coaching session, to find out the top three career challenges holding you back and the one thing you could do turn it around,  complete the form below and I’ll be delighted to talk to you further.

Acceptance, Guided Meditation, Happiness, Life Enahancing, Mindfulness, Soul Purpose

Finding your life purpose – a guided meditation

In June I’ll be participating in an online summit which is focusing on how we find our life’s purpose.  If I asked you how closely you felt you were living your life’s purpose what would you say?

Does it feel like something that is deeply embedded into your life’s journey?  Or does it feel like a vague notion to you?  If you feel it is the latter, you are not alone.  Many people would describe themselves as being led by the circumstances of their life, rather than living the life they really choose.

I understand that it can be really hard for you to find the time to really connect with what is important for you.  Here is a short meditation to help you do just that.  When you have a quiet moment, listen to it and see what ideas and pictures emerge for you.  Follow up and take some steps towards the things that will make you happy and more fulfilled.

Life is all about us making positive choices towards our purpose. 

Is today the day for you to do just that?

Enjoy