Our emotions have a huge impact on the quality of our life. When we feel good, life feels good. When we are sad or depressed, life can feel like a prison. Learning to control our emotions is one of the most effective ways to find happiness, not because we force ourselves to be positive, but because we are no longer enslaved by the whims of our emotions.
You have the power to change your world by changing how you view, interpret and act on your emotions. The first step is to make your emotions your friend rather than your enemy. Emotions simply exist, like the sky and the moon exist. Emotions are not good or bad. They allow us to key in to something deeper, which is going on, in ourselves and in the world around us. They are our signposts to taking a deeper note of what is happening and what we can learn from it.
Anger can be a great force for overcoming injustices if we use it wisely. Fear can help us to understand what we are suppressing or denying in ourselves and act as a signpost for our personal growth. Grief can allow us to reflect and understand when something important has passed away and what it meant to us. Love brings connection and meaning into our life. All emotions will change in time and when we learn to notice them as they arise, look within ourselves to what they mean or point to in us, we are able to act with clear and positive intent.
Our emotions are the energetic markers, which define our experiences. They give us visceral feedback of a point in time. These emotions can be positive or negative, but none of them are designed to hang around and become blocked in our body or our psyche. They are temporal flashpoints to help anchor our experience. The best way to transcend our emotions is to learn to observe them and create distance between them and our essential self.
“Once we make the break between who we are and the emotion we feel, we become free. Our psyche and energy becomes peaceful and we start to see something amazing happen. We feel joy and happiness rise within us.“
Learning to separate our emotion from ourselves is one of the first steps in transforming our emotional health. When we first start to observe our emotions, it can feel quite alien and the insights might only stay for a short while and arise some time after the emotion has been expressed. Over time, these moments of insight and observation can become longer and occur while the emotion is being expressed, allowing us to interact with it more directly and change its impact and direction mid-flow.
Becoming the objective observer of our emotions as they arise allows us to bring perspective and more importantly gives us choice; on whether we wish to identify with this emotion, or release it and maintain our sense of perspective.
A simple thing you can do is to start questioning the nature of the emotions you are feeling. For example, when you find yourself calming down from an emotional outburst, look at the nature of the emotion you have expressed and where you felt it in your body. Ask yourself if the emotion was really to do with the situation, which triggered it, or whether it was linked to something deeper which has not yet been expressed.
Make it Happen!
Keep a journal, noting down your emotional experiences. Write down what was happening and how you responded. Write down the nature of the emotion. Give it a colour and a shape. Observe where you felt the emotion in your body and if there were any physical changes you noticed.
This is an extract from ‘Coming Home to You – A Handbook for Personal Transformation’. Available as paperback and e-book. You can buy at all main online sellers and by order from bookshops. Click the buttons below to order your copy: