Change, Coming Home to You, Emotions, Featured, Personal Transformation

Control your emotions, Control your life

emoballsOur emotions have a huge impact on the quality of our life.  When we feel good, life feels good.  When we are sad or depressed, life can feel like a prison.  Learning to control our emotions is one of the most effective ways to find happiness, not because we force ourselves to be positive, but because we are no longer enslaved by the whims of our emotions.

You have the power to change your world by changing how you view, interpret and act on your emotions.  The first step is to make your emotions your friend rather than your enemy.  Emotions simply exist, like the sky and the moon exist. Emotions are not good or bad.  They allow us to key in to something deeper, which is going on, in ourselves and in the world around us.  They are our signposts to taking a deeper note of what is happening and what we can learn from it.

Anger can be a great force for overcoming injustices if we use it wisely.  Fear can help us to understand what we are suppressing or denying in ourselves and act as a signpost for our personal growth. Grief can allow us to reflect and understand when something important has passed away and what it meant to us.  Love brings connection and meaning into our life.  All emotions will change in time and when we learn to notice them as they arise, look within ourselves to what they mean or point to in us, we are able to act with clear and positive intent.

Our emotions are the energetic markers, which define our experiences.  They give us visceral feedback of a point in time.  These emotions can be positive or negative, but none of them are designed to hang around and become blocked in our body or our psyche.  They are temporal flashpoints to help anchor our experience.  The best way to transcend our emotions is to learn to observe them and create distance between them and our essential self.

“Once we make the break between who we are and the emotion we feel, we become free.  Our psyche and energy becomes peaceful and we start to see something amazing happen.  We feel joy and happiness rise within us.“

Learning to separate our emotion from ourselves is one of the first steps in transforming our emotional health.  When we first start to observe our emotions, it can feel quite alien and the insights might only stay for a short while and arise some time after the emotion has been expressed.  Over time, these moments of insight and observation can become longer and occur while the emotion is being expressed, allowing us to interact with it more directly and change its impact and direction mid-flow.

Becoming the objective observer of our emotions as they arise allows us to bring perspective and more importantly gives us choice; on whether we wish to identify with this emotion, or release it and maintain our sense of perspective.

A simple thing you can do is to start questioning the nature of the emotions you are feeling.  For example, when you find yourself calming down from an emotional outburst, look at the nature of the emotion you have expressed and where you felt it in your body.  Ask yourself if the emotion was really to do with the situation, which triggered it, or whether it was linked to something deeper which has not yet been expressed.


Make it Happen!

Keep a journal, noting down your emotional experiences.  Write down what was happening and how you responded.  Write down the nature of the emotion. Give it a colour and a shape.  Observe where you felt the emotion in your body and if there were any physical changes you noticed.


This is an extract from ‘Coming Home to You – A Handbook for Personal Transformation’.  Available as paperback and e-book.  You can buy at all main online sellers and by order from bookshops.  Click the buttons below to order your copy:

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Book Launch, Book Writing, Coming Home to You, Healing, Personal Transformation, The Joyful Press, Uncategorized

What motivated me to write a book – the birthing of Coming Home to You

It is often said that there is a book in all of us and I am sure that I am no more unique than you in this case.  Coming Home to You: A Handbook for Personal Transformation is not my first book, but it is the first one that will get published, under my own company: The Joyful Press.

There are many reasons why people write a book, but for me it was my desire to share my own healing journey with others, so that they may feel encouraged along their own.

The book deals with major life themes such as:

  • Dealing with Change – and learning to appreciate that change is all around us.
  • Taming the Inner Critic – realising that the constant negative voice in your head is not you and how to tame it.
  • The power of intent – and how to use this to achieve your goals
  • The nature of consciousness – that we can access and use to connect to our own happiness
  • Finding meaningful work – and learning how to put your best foot forward and deal with conflict constructively.

The writing of it was extremely cathartic, as the telling of each theme came with an insight into my own life and my struggles.  It was only when I could see beyond my struggles and realise that there was a deeper more important truth to all of life, that I could access the energy to turn my life turned around.

Healing and harmony are as much about state of mind as they are about our lifestyle choices.  Through my own healing journey, from a meltdown of my immune system in 2008, to the vibrant healthy person I am now, I had to learn how to connect with my inner life and with the energy which is the life force inside of me.  Experiencing this first hand convinced me that many people would want to be able to do the same, and so the motivation for my book was born.

I have made sure that it is practical, as I am a pragmatic person and if I cannot put something into action, how can I expect anyone else to? So I have included practical exercises at the end of each chapter.

I’ll be adding meditations, quizzes and short video insights to this website in the coming weeks, to share with you.  I’m also collaborating with my good friend Vikki Roberts to bring you some wonderful mindful poems that will help you achieve a calm and wistful state.

I will be sharing details of the book launch parties very soon so watch this space!

Next blog:  The main themes for your transformation journey

Book Launch, Book Writing, Coming Home to You, Personal Development, Survey Result

How Coming Home to You came Home to Me – The Book Journey

As many of you know I completed my first book ‘Coming Home to You’ earlier this year.  It has been quite a journey so far and I continue to be learning more all the time.

I thought at the end of the writing of the manuscript that I was already 50% there, but the reality it that it is probably only 30% of the effort.  What more could be involved I here you say?  Well, apparently, lots!

The editing of the manuscript takes time and with a professional editor, a group of beta-readers and a final proof read that takes quite a few weeks to complete.

I have also decided to produce an audio book as well and have been busy in a recording studio reading my manuscript.  It’s a good job I’m not in the least self-conscious, because there is very little that the sound engineer does not know about my life by now – given as so much of my own story is weaved into the book.

Then there is all of the design associated with the paper and e-book versions.  It is not until you have to design a book cover and internal layout yourself that you realise how much thought goes into book design.  It’s a minefield!  I decided to get the designs down to four versions and then ask for help choosing the final one.

I was overwhelmed by the feedback with 178 responses and this was the result.

book cover results


In the end I took the comments and suggestions and decided to go with the white cover with some adjustments.  Here is the final design:

Front cover design


Even with the book cover design agreed, I still have other milestones now to achieve and this includes the internal design and the spine and back cover.  I will never give another book a casual glance without thinking of how it was designed and why.

My thoughts now move to building this website, sharing my story and building rich and useful content here to help you find the joyful life that you wish to live.

I also plan a number of book launch parties.  London and Dublin are certain and New York is also in my sights but may prove more challenging.  I will be letting you know how the plans are going and sharing the details of the launch parties once I have these settled.  They promise to be fun and enjoyable evenings.

Thank you all once again for your support, your generosity of time and for all the great suggestions which I think will help to make this website and the rest of my book journey a truly great adventure, thank you.

 Next blog:  What motivated me to write the book.